The Zen of Clarity is...

What do you think of people who stand in line to buy an Apple product? Would you ever do it?

You guys should read The Snee, she's the BOMB! (I don't think she recognizes me without the "gerbil" stigma though)

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Is technology taking away from your family's quality time - or adding to it? How so?

Technology is awesome....forget ever going out in public again! I'll just sit here on my rump and drown in it...

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The one snafu to the zen of being "non judgemental"

Although I feel this SHOULD be an exception to the "judge not, lest ye be judged" rule, I know deep down inside that for someone to truly be "non judgemental" they need to include EVERYONE on this list. However, there is one sector of the population with whom I really have trouble in applying this principal. Any guesses? (drum roll....)

OK. I am judgmental against judgmental people. I admit it.

It really confounds me how people can be OK with being so narrow minded, and part of me REFUSES to believe that I ever lived another lifetime in which I, too, fit this category - for which I have SO MUCH contempt. Now, I'm not proud of this confession by any means, I just struggle with it.  So, to deal - many times I ask myself what the lesson in it is for me.

But first, it starts with what the lesson is for one who IS judgmental against others. It's pretty easy to see it from my standpoint, anyway. In my estimation, people who are judgmental are that way through FEAR. Fear of falling off that "security" blanket, perhaps. Fear of learning anything new. Fear of maybe realizing that the world ISN'T black and white, like they'd been told, but is, indeed, inscrutable at times. And that to embrace other possibilities would mean to accept the fact that there IS a great big unknown, which is unknown to EVERYONE.

Now, that part I understand - the unknown can be very scary. And you know how that old saying goes - "the devil you know, is better than the devil you don't". So there is a safety of sorts in narrow-mindedness - even if it is an illusion.

Now on to my problem. What is my lesson? Hmm...

OK. I guess we can start with learning tolerance for others. But the imperfect human part of my nature wants to scream, "But he or she is NOT a baby, she's 40 years old for chrissakes!"  Then I have to remember that I probably STILL do things that make certain people want to throttle me and knock me upside the head until common sense comes seeping back in. Yeah, I'll buy that.

And patience. At this point, I guess it would do me well to remember all of the people who have had patience with me during my life - this last year included. OK, you got me there.

And it's a good lesson in learning to detach. When you master detachment, it enables you to look at things objectively, which is supposed to render the scary monster,  harmless - as your emotions are now not so embroiled in the situation. That's a good thing, being able to do that - I agree.

and the most important one - LOVE. To truly LOVE, you must encompass all you meet with tenderness, understanding and mercy....Just like God has always embraced the imperfection that is you, me, and everyone else in the universe.  OK - I see my lessons in loving the judgemental.

But I still refuse to be stuck for more than an hour at a time,  at some baby shower with a group of em'!

The zen of God's shining stars sprinkled amid a cloudy day

You know what I mean when I say "it was one of those days when everything you touch turns to crap", right? One of those days when you realize that shit - does indeed - roll down hill - and there you are, the proverbial toilet with your lid up...?

Well, I had one of "those days" today. I was going to tell you about it, and I will - another time. Because I have an even better, older "one of those days" stories that can get my point across in a better way. Here goes.

It was one day last month - one dark, cold, stormy day ....that I had thought to increase my computer's boosting power by downloading a program that I had been looking for - for free - for a long time. What I ended up doing was causing a virus to infect my system so bad that it was literally irreparable on my end. And, as I'm trying to become a professional freelance writer, this was NOT a good thing.

So, I called my computer's manufacturer as I was still under warranty. But, alas - it was a software issue which is NEVER under regular warranty.  And, they could fix it - for just $89!! Well, as I didn't have .89 cents to my name that week, I explained my poverty-level state of being, thanked the customer service rep for her time while trying not to cry -  and was about to hang up.

All of a sudden, her voice gets really low on the phone and she says "Go to your office word document program, and don't say a word". - just play along with what I say".  OK...So, I open the one function I was still able to use, and some typing appears on the screen...."I am telling you that I cannot help you, because you don't have any money, but I am really going to help you, anyway. So please don't say one word or let on, because I will lose my job if I'm caught".

Wow, I was blown away. So, for the next hour or so, this kind-hearted rep fixed MY screw ups, sent me secret letters on Word Perfect, and signaled me when it was time for me to follow along with what she wanted me to say to keep everything under cover.

I cannot say her name, or the company she works for - but I still get teary eyed when I think of a person out in the world, who didn't know me from Adam , had nothing to gain from helping me - yet still did - just because.

My point from all this is that there are MANY angels out in the world, which reminds us that we're not alone with all the darkness.  YOU are an angel, yourself. I am one too. On the those occasions we CHOOSE to be, that is. 

And so was my new friend, whom I will probably never talk to again. She was definitely an angel, when she chose to help a stranger and at the risk of her job -  just because.  I don't know if I would have taken that risk, I admit.

Maybe we should all remember this as we go about our busy days. What does it cost us to help someone when it's in our power to do so? The lesson of Zen is, Yes, what comes around DOES go around. But don't focus so much on it in a what will I get down the road from this? way.

The answer is - You'll get plenty, but not what you think you'll get as far as riches, money, a new car - REWARDS are concerned.

What you get is so much better than those material things. What you'll get is the knowledge that pure light DOES exist in the world, and NO, we are not left alone in the darkness - no matter how trying times are. And take it from me - THAT is one of the most comforting feelings in the world.

So, the next time it's in your power to help someone - Just Because - Just Do It. Like the movie says...Pay it Forward..Be someone's angel - Feel the connection ..

Clarity

I reached out and took your hand

Tried to follow you, my friend

I didn't know where we were going

But I thought you’d understand

Back then, my heart shone bright in me

I didn’t think to hide its light

But it turned into a dying ember

In a cold and lonely night

Still I held on to what wasn't there

And  didn't feel my fall 

I only knew that you weren't there

to save me, after all 

So here's to the death of my illusions

To the sun setting on this world of clay

I welcome the end to my confusion

And invite the truth to come and stay

And I'll let the scales fall to the floor

Illuminate what i refused to see

When they fade for good -  your pretty lies

I'll take back the part that's left of me 

This is the start of wisdom

Of seeing, being...clarity....

By Lisa M. Lewis

June 2007  

If you had to give up YouTube or Facebook, which one would you choose? What's the deciding factor?

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How do you react when annoying things you didn't take care of, come back to haunt you?

It's funny.  When things are going well, life seems to fly on by. You don't know where the days go, and each one kind of blends into the next, right? It's almost as if you start taking your good luck for granted.

But then ...Little things start happening that get under your skin. Your paycheck is shorter than it was last time. Or, You find out your cable bill is double what you thought it was going to be. Or, your Mustang loses its transmission when you put it into reverse, and gets stuck in the driveway you share with your duplex neighbor - and there you are, caught leaving the house without the winning lotto ticket.  What are you supposed to do in these cases?

Face it. We're grown ups, even those of us who don't really act like them, that much. In fact, a lot of us can relate to the role of the grasshopper in that fable about the "grasshopper and the ant".  You remember - it's the story of what happens when a grasshopper chooses to play all summer long, instead of helping his industrious little neighbors - the ants - store up food for the winter. And, of course he gets stuck the moment winter's first breeze blows in - no top ramen, no cable, no NOTHING. 

I can't remember exactly what happens after that - it's a FABLE, meaning we're supposed to learn an important lesson from it - so I'm thinking that whatever ends up happening to the grasshopper can't be good, I'm sure the ants gave him the middle antennea.

But I digress. I guess what I really mean to say is, I am a grasshopper in many ways. I choose to play my fiddle all the time. And, I have always been a grasshopper, and will always be a grasshopper. It's not that I look down on responsiblities, it's just that there's SO many of them, they're SO redundant, and they're UBER boring. So many times, I do the minimum that I have to.

But what I don't take care of, always ends up biting me in the butt - as is only right. I could whine and complain when this happens, but I don't - because it's my own damn fault. I SHOULD have saved extra money for those bills I knew were coming. I SHOULD have remembered that extra things were being taken out of my check this month.  I SHOULD have stopped driving my car the first time I heard a noise - instead of blowing it off like I ususally do, thinking all the time - "Tomorrow's another day, and may never come anyway".

Yes, very ZEN and poetic thinking, but not too bright in some cases.

Well, instead of getting angry about it, I do something else. Open up a bottle of Pinot Grigio, grab a pack of smokes, turn off my living room lights and shut the blinds so that woman who comes by every night trying to offer us our lawnmower back at a bargain price thinks we're not home...and write. OK, and sometimes photoshop the face of Mr. Hankey onto an annoying celebrity's face.

What do you do when you're screwed, blued - and no money for tatoos?

Toltec wisdom and learning to love yourself

  

Deep down, all we really want is to be loved and understood by someone else. That’s all we want.  Not such a tall order, right?  After all, God IS LOVE – so it would stand to reason that because we’re the offspring of his spirit,  this would be the purpose of our lives. Why?

Because most of us have such great love in our hearts, and we want to give and get it back again. 

But it’s not so easy to find real love, is it?  Or maybe, what I should say, is that it’s not always that simple to find love “as defined by you”. Because, we what we’re really looking for when we say we’re looking for LOVE is for someone or something to affirm that we have value – that we matter….that we count. And the reason this is so hard  is because anyone and everyone we hook up with to  “love” and “be loved by” in return, gets set up against a pair of critics who seldom ever lose – and torture both in the relationship.

And each of us know one of the critics well - and have lived with his bullshit all our lives. I’ll give you a hint – you see him or her looking back at you from the mirror every morning.

This critic tells you that you’re “not worth it”, “you’re terrible”, “you suck” – and that no one could ever love you – especially once they get to know  you, and see what a failure you are.

And the sad part is – most of us, including the wonderful people who raised us – have struggled to kill off a personal devastating judge, all their lives.  But because he’s colored their perception of life -  all their lives – they’ve had no choice but to pass on what they know to be true to THEMSELVES - to their children.  Thus creating an endless cycle of sadness and pain and failure. Because no one we let in can heal us – and we can’t heal anyone who lets us in, either – because that judge won’t allow the healing of ourselves. So when a relationship fails because the other person can't fill that VOID each of us has - we blame the other person, and vice versa.  Or a more simple explanation - If you don't KNOW love as it applies to you, then how would you know how to LOVE someone else?  

Now that I’ve really added the icing to the cake of depression, here’s something that I found to be so helpful in understanding why people - including ourselves - are the way they are, and how they look at life. 

It doesn’t hold a magic potion, nor will you win the lotto in your search for the meaning of existance. But it will help you to understand that YOU aren’t alone in your belief that “you’re doomed to be a failure, and you will never matter” – because you’ll see that most believe that this honor belongs only to themselves. Even if they don’t know it.  In this, you find you're not alone.

If you’ve never heard of Toltec Wisdom, or The Four Agreements, take a look at this reprint of them.  Don’t worry - it’s not meant to take the place of your religion, it’s just a reality that helps to remind yourself to love yourself because God loves you – and because each of us is worth it:

NOTE: This part is a reprint of someone else's article - Enjoy!

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Understanding the Wisdom of the Agreements

This book is for everyone. The Four Agreements is a complex, though short read that contains much wisdom of value in it's pages. Author Don Miguel Ruiz has constructed a simple but thoughtful plan for daily living that will appeal to most anyone with an open mind and heart.

In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz presents the idea that everything that a person believes - all that makes up their paradigm, is the result of agreements made knowingly or unknowingly with society. Here is a synopsis of the key elements behind the books graceful wisdom; four agreements that each person may choose to make with themselves for a happier, more peaceful life.

The First Agreement – Be Impeccable with your Word

What does this mean? In the first of the four agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz says "Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean.”. Ruiz recommends avoiding using the power of words to speak against one’s self or others. He explains the damage of gossip in the human life and encourages readers to use the mighty power of words to spread truth and love.

Don Miguel Ruiz implies here that complete honesty should be valued above all else. He acknowledges that at times, the truth will be hurtful to others but that if something must be said, that if it is true it will always be correct. The art of upholding honesty without verbally wounding others lies in knowing when to speak and to be silent. Sometimes, the best thing to say is nothing.

The Second Agreement – Don't Take Anything Personally

The second of the four agreements is Don Miguel Ruiz’ proclamation that "Nothing others do is because of you. What others do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.”. Ruiz speaks of each person playing out a film in their own mind where they are the star, the director, the producer and so on. Everyone else is only a supportive character.

Ruiz goes on to say, “When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.”. Basically, anything and everything that a person does or says is a product of their own thought and has nothing to do with others. Their words and actions are formed from their own opinions which have no real effect on others.

The Third Agreement – Don't Make Assumptions

In the third of the four agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz writes "Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.” This is powerful advice. Ruiz is suggesting that people engage in real communication with honesty. If a person feels that he or she is missing part or all of what is being related to them, they should ask questions until they truly understand.

Ruiz’ words also imply that there is no place for passive aggression. A person should always say what they really want, even if it’s difficult to do so. “Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life". Ruiz writes.

Combined with the first two agreements, the third agreement gives a person the ability to communicate honest needs and intentions to others without fear of ridicule or shame.

The Fourth Agreement – Always Do Your Best

The last of the four agreements is about performing to the best of one‘s personal ability. Don Miguel Ruiz explains that "Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.”. This thought gives readers the permission to be human, to realize that their personal best will not always be consistent.

Ruiz continues, “Under any circumstances, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.". A person’s best depends greatly on their current state of mind, finances and health. No one can tell another person what is good enough. Each person has the right to decide for themselves whether they have given their all and the responsibility to forgive their own imperfections.

PS - I don’t know why I felt the need to post this today – maybe someone out there needed it.  Have a great day!

Reflection of the Day

  Sometimes when one "sees the Light", he discovers he still prefers the dark...

Looking to write an ebook