So, what DO you do when someone you’ve helped and trusted turns out to be a snake that obviously has NO regard or respect for your efforts, your feelings, or compassion for you?
Well, the first thing most want to do is get mad at the injustice and strike back (understandably, of course). But really – where does this get you? No where with them – usually – or maybe an insincere apology at best, but mostly you just get more upset the more you think about it at a lack of their understanding.
And, you can try in vain to make them understand what they did was wrong, and force them to see your side of things. And, although they may nod and pretend they understand and agree – if you look closely while your trying to communicate with them, you’ll notice their eyes starting to glaze over a bit. The bottom line is - you may as well be speaking another language in trying to get them to see “the light”. They don’t understand, they won’t understand, and it’s because they CAN’T understand.
How can this be? Do they have no feelings? Keep reading…
Each and Every person is who THEY ARE and nothing more. Each and everyone of us has our reasons, and have collected our own experiences which have resulted in our own insecurities that make up the way we view our worlds. And, for a lot of us, this is also what will color the way we treat others, as well.
If a person thinks that the world is against him, and they’ve unfairly been given the short end of the stick all their lives, it won’t matter if you suddenly show up carrying a foot long tree branch and present it to them with a smile – most of them will make sure they also take the little twigs you’ve kept for yourself, as well.
If someone has been raised in anger and turmoil, then their view of real love and kindness will most likely be warped, as well. And, it won’t matter how much love and tenderness you lavish upon them, nor will it make a difference if at first they SEEM to open up and receive it – and return it.
Chances are this STILL won’t be enough to change their overall view of things, and quell whatever angst they carry around inside that nothing seems to fill. And they will eventually revert back to what is familiar to them, and YOU will end up being a convenient target for the rage they hold onto like a winning lotto ticket.
Then there is the other type of person who is able to fool and con even the most empathetic and “zen-nish” of us. And, once their true colors show, this is the person whom at first you are SURE is devoid of any feeling or empathy at all. Well, you are right, but you are also wrong.
They may be missing HUMAN feeling, but they do have one feeling. And that is TRUE emptiness. So empty that they can’t even feel anger, sadness or rage – or regret.. And who knows WHY they are like that?
They could have been severely abused by a parent at the bonding stage of their childhood, or maybe they’re missing that one genetic chromosome that gives the majority of people the capability to feel different emotions.
Whatever it is, the person is usually a great actor in imitating all the emotions the rest of us have - as he or she has been doing it all their lives, just to fit in with “normal” society. This person can fool almost anyone – ourselves included, and is most likely whom the psychologists are referring to when they label someone a true “narcisstic”.
But where does this leave YOU? Where does it leave you with THEM? With yourself? With others you may meet in the future who would do the same thing without a second thought? How do you DEAL with what it does to YOU, and the way you now view the world?
NOTE: Again, this was TOO long and I’m TOO longwinded as it is. So, part 3 tomorrow..
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